Virtual bereavement : how the Lebanese use Facebook to express grief

Abstract

Facebook profiles of the departed who were once active Facebook users are today being used as virtual space by family and friends to express their grief, connect with the deceased and engage in active memorials. The aim of this thesis is to explore how social network sites (SNS) such as Facebook are being used as a platform for grieving practices in Lebanon. It reveals through research how the Lebanese death rituals are being translated into the virtual world. It also discovers virtual bereavement behaviour and its effects on the stages of grief through the lens of Bowlby’s Attachment Theory. In-depth semi structured interviews were conducted and analysed with ten selected Lebanese Facebook users who had experienced grief online. Findings showed that SNS such as Facebook helped the participants deal with the pain of the loss, the guilt they felt and the missed interaction they had with the deceased. They see it as a platform of sharing expressions and emotions with others in order to get rid of a load of pain felt vis-à-vis dealing with these issues on their own. It would comfort them to talk to the deceased by sending wall messages or private messages even though they knew that the person is not really there. A second finding showed that the continued virtual presence of the deceased through their profile on Facebook gave them comfort and lessened the amount of restless energy that Bowlby (1980) spoke about in the grief theory. The language that people use on social networks is very similar to the language we might hear at a gravesite. A third finding showed that many posts on Facebook by Lebanese people in specific may be exaggerated forms of grieving. Some people post not to lessen their distress but to get attention. It was discovered that some people post exaggerated posts and overly dramatized quotes on the deceased’s page which in turn harms the person in a bereavement process. Lebanese people express grief on Facebook – their new comfort zone. A place where they let go of their pain while grieving and find the deceased they are searching for.